Ignorance is NOT Bliss...

I don't know what is wrong with Rhode Island, but I am struggling to find fountain sodas around and if I do, they do not have Diet Dr. Pepper on tap!  I finally dropped my standards and poured a fountain Coke Zero today.  It was better than nothing and best of all, it was only 95 cents.  I have not given up on finding fountain Diet Dr. Pepper in this town and the lucky barkeep that has it will win my loyalty through the ages.  Look how happy I am:

First fountain drink was not my only milestone today.  One of my partners also purchased me a Rhode Island staple called strip pizza.  It's essentially focaccia with pizza sauce and no cheese.  My verdict?  Tasty, but I don't know that it will be something I will crave.  Sorry to any Rhode Islanders out there, but I have a lifetime of proof that cheese belongs on anything called "pizza."  Here I am both before and after my first strip pizza:

As long as I was out trying things for the first time, I decided it was high time to find myself a lobster roll.  Today was chilly but beautifully sunny, so I decided my first trip to Cape Cod was warranted.  As I pulled into the little towns that line the Cape, I was aware that my ignorance as a westerner was glaring since every lobster stand had signs that read, "See you next season!"  and "See you April 15th!"  One even had the audacity to invite me back on May first.  News Flash New England:  In Idaho we're pretty famous for one major commodity - potatoes.  I know you've heard of us because I see the Idaho potato bags in every grocery store I've been in over here.  If someone has the blessing to step foot inside our state, we are ready to provide spuds to all.  You want them mashed?  Done.  You want them boiled?  Also done.  You want them fried, roasted, or dehydrated?  Done, done, and done.  We would NEVER put up a sign that says "see you next season," or "See you in May!"  In fact, drive through Blackfoot, Idaho and they give out free taters for out of staters!

I decided if I couldn't get me some lobster because I'm an ignorant dork, then I wanted to see the water on one of the Cape Cod beaches.  Let's just say my raging hunger/anger was assuaged when I saw the view.  I stopped at Indianneck beach which was lovely and deserted because it was the off season.  I stayed just until I started obsessing about getting sand in my shoes and/or intimate cracks.  Check it:

Because I had no lobster roll in my belly, I decided to find me some Bahn Mi since I cannot get it in Idaho Falls.  I looked for the skankiest place I could find.  It had several things going for it:

• Ethnic individual working the register who spoke poor English
• No other whites inside
• Two nefarious looking individuals lurking outside
• I felt so afraid for my safety that I kept looking out the window to see if my car had been stolen while I waited for my food

As expected, it was delicious.  Only downside was they didn't have the same yummy coconut drink I had at another near-death Bahn Mi experience in Oakland, California.

Fine New England.  We can be friends again.  I'll forgive you for the lobster roll debacle but I really would like to lodge a complaint with the tourism department about the false tales of lobster everywhere.  Maybe I'll calm down in May when I'm hoping the lobster will be so plentiful that several will follow me home like stray dogs do in Idaho...