This week Jared asked me out on a date and actually planned the whole thing himself. It was a really monumental experience given that he hasn't asked me out or planned a date all by himself since we were first together over 20 years ago. It's not like we don't go out together... We actually go out more now than we ever have before because our jerk babies are finally old enough to take care of themselves for a few hours. It's just that we don't usually go to the trouble of asking the other person out on an official date. This is how our alone time normally goes:
Me: Want to go out?
Jared: Yeah
Me: Where do you want to go?
Jared: Anywhere you want to go
Me: (Mildly annoyed tone) Want to go out to eat maybe?
Jared: Sure
Me: Where would you like to eat?
Jared: Anywhere. I'm hungry and I'm not picky
Me: (Moderately to majorly annoyed) WHY CAN'T YOU EVER JUST PICK SOMETHING?!
It goes on and on like this for a good 10 minutes before I finally just pick the activity or restaurant and then fume that I married a man that literally cares about nothing.... Well, almost nothing... Which brings me back to the date I just got asked out on. Know what Jared cares a lot about? Superman. It just so happens that Superman the Movie was back in theaters to celebrate its 40th anniversary and my lover wanted to see, and I quote, "One of the best movies ever made." So out on a date I went!
I actually grew up watching Superman quite a few times myself. Probably not nearly as many times as the nerd I'm hitched to, but I had to have seen it at least 15 times - maybe even 20. Therefore, when Jared asked me to dinner and a movie, I wasn't all that put out about it. Heck, one might even say I was sort of excited to go. We had steak at the Texas Road House which was tasty. It broke the rule I made once we moved to Rhode Island in that I told the kids we could not eat at any chain restaurants until we had eaten at every local place in the state. However, Jared had a gift card from work he would have wasted otherwise so TRH it was.
We made it to the theater about 5 minutes before showtime. Luckily, Jared had gone earlier in the day to purchase tickets because he wanted to make sure he had a seat. How crowded was it? Well, we shared the theater with about 10 people, so thank goodness my old man planned ahead! How was the movie? B-O-R-I-N-G. How in the world did I ever like that stinker? And what's with Lois? She's a real corn ball. Here she is, supposed to be this strong feminist lead, and she's weak in the knees for stupid Superman, spouting poetry anytime he takes her flying! I don't know why he wasted his time bringing her back to life when her car falls into the San Andreas fault at the end. If I were Superman, I would have yelled down at her stranded, half buried car, "Good riddance Lois! I'll tell Perry White you won't be coming back to work!" It must have been her pink panties that made the Man of Steel a bit of a sissy for Lois. How else can you explain him turning back time to save her ridiculous life?
Once we were seated in the nearly empty theater, I thought it would be pretty smooth sailing. Unfortunately, Jared had to tell some jerk to turn off his stupid cell phone. There was also this doof in the theater that laughed his head off like a maniac about every 2 minutes or so. I sat there thinking, "Dude, this movie is 40 years old! This cannot be the first time you have seen this show! KNOCK IT OFF!" After about 15 minutes of his nonsense, I leaned over to Jared and told him I was going to walk up and murder that idiot if he didn't stop ruining the most boring show I'd seen in years. Jared then calmly pointed out that he thought the owner of the empty wheelchair in the front row was probably the self same comedian on the back row. I felt like a real doof myself for being so insensitive about the man's handicap and made a vow to let it go. I was surprised to find that I enjoyed the movie slightly more when I put his squeals into perspective. That dude was so excited and happy to be watching Jared's favorite movie on the big screen. Pure, childlike joy. Can't fault a person for that. Hell, if Jared had any emotion at all, he probably would have gone up to the back row and laughed and giggled with the dude himself.
I couldn't wait for that old stinker to be over - especially since I have been fighting a fairly nasty head cold that has left me with Laryngitis. It didn't matter how many times I tried to tell Jared how dumb that movie was. The old geek didn't care. He still loves Superman. He still would watch that Christopher Reeve rendition any time or place he could. And I can guarantee he will still ask me to go the next time it plays in the theater no matter how much I complain about it. I guess that's true love for you. I'll go anywhere with that old duffer - no matter how miserable or bored it might make me... I still draw the line at professional wrestling though my love - so don't even ask...
