Why Don't He Write?

Another 2 months has passed me by and I have had a huge case of writer's block!  It's not that funny things haven't happened to me.  Heck, even a lot of boring things happened to me.  It's just that I can't seem to remember to take pictures to prove it and I can't seem to muster up the energy to get anything done about the blog.  It might be because I've started my second semester of my Post Master's and just feel overwhelmed trying to think about anything else.  It might also be the stress I feel because my home renovations aren't even close to being done.  Or it might be some mild depression about going back to my regular life once my extended family left me in July.  Whatever the reason, I guess let me step back and give you the highlights of the 2 months you've missed.

After my sister Briana and her family left us, we made good use of the rest of the summer!  We definitely got more beach time (though not as much as I wanted) and checked out a new beach (to us) at Sachuest point.  It was lovely, just like every other Rhode Island beach, and Jared looked particularly handsome with the chin pubes he had been growing:

Let's next turn our attention to my finest achievement of the year which happened at the beginning of August.  I finally got my fence replaced!  It made me feel about 10% less trashy, and that my friends, is worth its weight in gold.  Here's a pic of how high the pile to the dump was on the back of the truck:

Jared managed to get it all on board in one trip!  It cost me about a hundred bucks to dump it, but on the bright side, a nice man who saw I was alone and dumping gloveless, felt sorry for me and gave me a new pair of nice work gloves.  Bonus!  And here's part of the new beauty fence herself:

Remember that the house there off to the left is Maria's cousin's place.  Her husband was so glad when that new fence went up, but I like to believe he was a little sad that he can't tromp through my backyard to visit his friend anymore.  I ended up taking him some cookies because he tapped up a few boards over some gaps from his side, so my quest to make him my friend has begun I guess.  However, my feelings about Maria remain unchanged.  Sorry Maria.  You brought this misery upon yourself!

August finished out with a camping trip right before school started at the end of the month.  This year, we went camping at Pawtuckaway Lake in New Hampshire and had the time of our lives.  We played on the lake every day, paddled the canoe around, bought a huge flamingo floaty and dragged it behind the canoe with the kids on top.  We paddled to the islands in the lake and jumped off a giant rock for hours that that kids named "Jerry the jumping rock."  We even jumped off "Jerry" onto the flamingo and laughed our heads off.  We paddled the canoe to the lake store and parked the canoe in the "boat corral" whenever we needed more ice or something else we forgot.  It was an absolutely perfect week, but I don't have a waterproof phone case, so I have very little proof of my delightful outing.  You might have to make do with a picture of the frog Bubba caught, me acting like a pig eating marshmallows, and Jared fishing instead.

  

Trust me.  It was such a great trip.  We are going back next year and it might just overtake Bear Lake and Warm River as my favorite place to cop a squat...

School started shortly thereafter and I only managed to get a picture of Bubba on the first day of school.  

I was on call that day and missed all of it unfortunately.  The older girls took a picture of themselves for me so as not to break my tradition:

Sadly, their choice of lighting was less than perfect and I felt damn guilty for not asking for that day off so that I could send them out like I normally do.  I did feel badly about shirking my mom duties, but my bigger crime was forgetting to ask for the day off so that Jared and I could drop off the kids and go alone to Six Flags.  Judge me all you like.  You have five kids and see if you don't want to escape the creeps sometimes too...

That my friends catches me up to Labor Day weekend.  I actually had the weekend off and it was glorious.  It started with a sweet gift from my dad in the mail:

Yes that is exactly what it looks like.  The empty Dunkin Donuts bag from the donuts he bought during his visit out to see me in July.  I cannot explain that man in the few sentences I have left.  Just realize that I have known him for 44 years and nothing he does surprises me...  Including getting an empty Dunkin Donuts bag in the mail from him...

On Sunday, we explored Bash Bish Falls and had a lovely drive through a part of Massachusetts we haven't seen since Jared and the kids moved to the Ocean State:

I know it's no Idaho waterfall, but we had fun nonetheless!  We rounded out the weekend with a trip to Battleship Cove in Fall River, Mass on labor day itself and had a fantastic time!  

After all the exploring we did, we ate at a clam shack one last time before the end of the season, and enjoyed the whisperings of the fall weather that has arrived to Rhode Island.  I feel lucky to live in such a great state with so much going on all the time.  I am constantly amazed at how much traveling, eating, and playing we have done since moving, and I am grateful for the new quality of life I found once we made the trek to the East.  

I feel a little bummed about being back on call today after all the fun adventures I just shared with everyone.  In fact, someone painted a nut inside the hospital elevator that perfectly sums up my day today:

Don't get too worried for me though.  My call shift ends in about 12 hours and then I begin our annual "Apple Cider Donut Adventure."  The "adventure" consists of me driving to a new cider house every weekend to try out their cider and/or cider donuts and then critiquing them in order of deliciousness.  Jaswell's Farm is the spot to beat from last year, so everyone better be on their best game this year!  Huh.  I guess I didn't have writer's block after all.  Aren't you lucky?   

Come Visit Anytime

My parents, Kayley, and my sister Briana and her family left yesterday after visiting me for about 10 days.  It was marvelous to have them here because now that I live so far away in Rhode Island, I just don't see my family as often as I would like.  I used to eat Sunday dinner every week with my folks.  Briana, mom, and I would eat lunch together a lot, and nearly every holiday, I was together with as many of my family members as I could possibly convince to hang around with me.  I love my family and miss each of them for different reasons.  For anyone that doesn't know, I am the eldest of nine children and for awhile, most of us were still in Idaho, so family gatherings were awesome.  Three of my siblings are still in southeast Idaho by my folks as is Kayley.  I have a sister in the Idaho pan handle which is a day's drive away from the folks.  I have a jerk sister in Boise several hours away and 2 brothers in Utah.  Briana moved away to Oregon from Idaho Falls several years before I moved to Rhode Island and at that time, she was the furthest away from all of us.  Not liking to be outdone, I decided I needed to up the ante and move to the Ocean State, so now, no one really comes to see me.  I have only myself to blame I guess...

Since I actually care what Briana thinks, I wanted New England to impress her, so I planned a whiz bang vacation for her.  What did we do?  Well, the boys watched a Red Sox game while the girls walked the Freedom trail and ate Italian ice and treats from some Italian bakeries.  We saw the statue of liberty and had a great time even though it was hot and muggy.  Here's the cousins on the ferry:

We toured the Lowell Mills, spent time on several beaches, saw some lighthouses, and went down Cape Cod. 

We ate yummy seafood, delicious pizza, and ate more sandwiches than I think my dad wanted to.  We watched the 234th consecutive 4th of July parade in Bristol, RI (the oldest in the country BTW) and saw fireworks in India Point Park.  We baptized Bubba at one point and wanted to see the Battle Road at Concord, Mass but Kayley blew out my tire on the curb so we stayed home at a park and I got to pay 350 bucks to get us up and running instead.  Turned out I ran Briana so hard she thought God had answered her prayers that day so that she could have a break!  It also turns out after the whole week, I didn't take a single pic with Briana!  so if you want to see what she looks like, check out her blog.  Hopefully she's going to write all about the trip too and tell you all about what a great hostess I am:

http://booneybabbles.blogspot.com/

Know what else we did?  Picked up trash on several beaches and I of course spread the gospel about not using plastic in any form except reusable containers.  Briana made fun of me for my silicone food bags, my compostable bamboo toothbrushes, and my plastic preaching, but I didn't care because I'm committed to mother earth.  I didn't think too much would come from my crazy hippie ways, but today on the porch we found this:

A COLLAPSIBLE TRASH CLAW!  Guess who sent it?

That's right.  Briana.  She didn't like watching me pick up beach trash with my bare hands.  She might think I'm an idiot most of the time, but if she's going to send me such a great gift, she can't think I'm completely crazy.  Do you think I ran out to use it on the beach?  Heck no!  Enjoy the following:

Thanks Briana!  That trash claw is going in my trunk just like you had hoped and it will probably get at least half of it's use from nefarious ideas that someone in this family dream up while riding in the car to the next adventure.  Best part?  I already have a claw that I never thought to pack in the car so now I can double claw while I'm picking up beach trash:

Yep, New England is pretty great.  Just ask  Briana.  You're welcome to come visit any time.  Could you  bring me another silicone resealable food bag next time?


 

What's That Now?

Since I no longer had my niece Kate to entertain this week, Jared and I were able to get back to working on my dining room.  The wainscoting is now like 25% done and the tin ceiling has been totally sealed with silicone.  Here's the wainscoting:

I'm getting so excited to have the room done that I sent some pics to my family to brag a little.  Some of my siblings had some nice things to say but my dad just asked why I sent him a picture of some buckets.  This insensitivity came despite the fact that I have been very engaged and supportive with all the pictures he has been sending me documenting his drive cross country with his boyfriend Alan, which I might add look mostly like this:

What do you want?  Some people are jerks I guess.  Anyhoo...  While I was inside doing the ceiling silicone but mostly doing my homework instead of helping work on the wainscoting, Jared was outside cutting wood and making a buddy.  This buddy lives kitty corner to the back of my fence in the following house:

This buddy also asked if he could step through the giant hole in my fence to go talk to my other neighbor who lives to the right of me (from this perspective, he would be the unseen house to my left), while telling Jared his theory for why the fence is broken.  I might add that he never thought to mention that maybe it's because the fence is old and shitty and wasn't replaced on time by the previous owner...  I thought it was kind of hilarious he wanted to crawl through the fence, and since I am replacing the fence this year, felt generous enough to let him use my gaping hole while he still can.  I asked Jared if he had a new boyfriend upon which, Jared agreed the man was just his type:  old, smoker, with a thick Rhode Island accent.  I replied I was glad I moved to RI so he could find his perfect mate...  I digress...

After talking to the Jared, the neighbor walked back home and in a bit, he was back through the fence again with a gift...  3 new raspberry starts, probably because he noticed I am working on expanding a raspberry bed right in front of the fence he just tramped back through.  Jared also mentioned at some point that he had learned from his new boyfriend that his wife IS MARIA'S COUSIN!!!   Yep.  That Maria.  The same Maria I have vilified for 2 years.  And man am I glad I wasn't the one out talking to him when he discussed my fence because it would have come out what I thought of Maria and Jared's boyfriend and I might not have had a chance to become friends.  I of course tried to stalk him for you dear readers.  But this is all I got:

That's the top of his head on the right next to the fence pole.  I had to take the pic through my living room window because I was naked from my shower, had clean underpants upstairs, and couldn't stand on my deck to get the better shot.  Plus, I was also trying to be covert and not let him know I was spying on him.  It reminded me of some other spying I used to do a lot of when I first moved to the Ocean state:

I might try to learn Jared's boyfriend's name, or I might just call him Joe 2.  I haven't decided yet.  Either way, I now have a new friend I need to be nice to and since that friend brought me some plants, I probably ought to send some cookies his way.  Maybe one of these days stupid Maria will show up at his house and Joe 2 can tell her what a nice person I am.  And maybe I'll finally be able to answer the question of what would happen if I saw Maria again.  Like specifically, whether I really would tell her what I thought about her while strangling her to death with my strong bare hands...  On second thought, maybe I better tell Joe 2 to keep his damn mouth shut about me...       

Wedded Bliss

Yesterday was my 21st wedding anniversary.  Even after all the time Jared and I have been together, there's still a lot of magic and romance floating around.  If you're wondering what someone in such a long term commitment plans for their lover on such a special day, you're in luck, cause I'm about to blog about it!  The day started quite nicely:

Don't get excited. It was just some innocent snuggles and some quick words of congratulation about our milestone.  Then we had to get Bub up and out of the door so that we could get our day trip started.  This year we decided to go to the Statue of Liberty.  Why the statue?  Well, an extra special gift for our anniversary was sent to us by my thoughtful sister this year.  This sister wanted to give her daughter a gift for Christmas, so sent her to me for my anniversary, so that I could show her around the Ocean State.  Since my anniversary present had also never been to the statue, I decided my anniversary would work out best since Jared was off that day.  I know...  I have the best family.  My romantic snuggles were followed by a romantic breakfast of Fluffernutter and banana toast...

And Kate....

After breakfast, the anniversary trio hopped in the car and met up with horrible traffic because of an accident on 195.  It took us an hour to get out of Providence.  I spouted a prophesy that this did not bode well for our trip to New York...   But on Jared and I pressed...

With Kate...

We made good time until we got 5 miles away from the George Washington Bridge and then traffic halted us again.  Our appointment for the Statue was at 1 pm, but we sat in traffic for about 2 hours before we finally made it to the bridge.  It was horrible.  I said a lot of swears through my teeth, and mentioned to Kate about 2,000 times that I had skipped getting my regular mug of Diet Dr. pepper and also needed to pee hours ago but had held it so that we could get to the Statue on time and look what it had gotten me...  Then I started to complain to Jared - A LOT - who tried to be Mr. Cool as usual.  I finally called the ferry service to ask just how late we could be and still get on the ferry to the statue so that I could decide whether just to cut bait and turn around.  The ferry dude assured me that as long as we were at the screening area by 2 pm, we could still use our tickets.  At about 1:20, we almost got onto the bridge with actual hope of making the deadline, when the GPS took us off the bridge and guided us right along the Hudson River - thus effectively guaranteeing that we would not meet our commitment.  I could see the green lady mocking us from the harbor, and tried really hard to be only a little mean to Jared about the detour.  I knew the GPS had directed him, but this was one time where I knew it was picking the longer route.  At about 1:40, Jared finally realized someone had switched the GPS to "avoid tolls..." hence the predicament we now found ourselves in.  I said a few more swears and mentioned again that I really needed to pee...

We decided to drive to Liberty State Park on the Jersey side anyway so that at least Kate could get some distance shots with the lady and arrived at about 2:10.  I had the bright idea to run in and ask if they would still let us on the boat - and to see if they would let me use a toilet.  Wouldn't you know it... they let us on the ferry!  Look how happy Jared and I are to have tickets in hand and to be waiting in line for the statue....

Of course you guessed it...  Kate was happy too...


We rode the ferry over and spent the anniversary with the green lady...

And Kate....

Then we took Kate into the museum and found out that nearly everything inside had been removed for restoration.  Just our luck for the day.  More disappointment.  We didn't have time to see Ellis Island this go round, but if Kate wants to see that someday, she can come back and crash another one of our romantic trips to New York...

We finished up our travels, rode the ferry back out to the Jersey side, then headed to Shake Shack for dinner.  I wanted to give them a try since people on the East Coast are nuts for them.  How was it?  Ok.  But I'd still take Five Guys Burgers any day of the week.  Kate offered to pay since it was our anniversary, but her cheap mother only sent 100 bucks with her instead of the million I requested.  I told Kate she didn't need to waste my time offering to pay for something she couldn't really afford.  Then I told her to stop crying about it and drink her milkshake.  I forgot to take a pic of Kate crashing our romantic dinner so you will just have to imagine that part...  Sorry...

We finally made it back into Providence at about 10 pm, only to find that there was night road construction.  So we spent the last 5 miles going about the same speed as we had 14 hours earlier.  The one highlight in that last five miles was we got to smell the weed a greasy dude with a beard was smoking in the car next to us.  It was great let me tell you.  Overall, Kate enjoyed the trip and insisted she be allowed to come back next anniversary....  but I think she just wanted more second hand weed...

I almost had a moment to think I might finally see some romance, but ended up getting in a huge fight with Hannah, had to wash some dishes my rat kids left, then collapsed into my bed at nearly midnight.  Did I get some naked time?  Not this year buddy.  Just more snuggle time because Bub and I had a deal about her sleeping with me and I had forgotten that I had negotiated for her to sleep with me on my anniversary...

Oh well.  Happy 21st anniversary Kate!









 

Suck it Maria... Again

Well, a month has gone by and where have I been?  Busy!  That's where!  My dining room renovation has been coming along nicely albeit a bit slowly.  I'm about to measure the room for wainscoting, but at least the tin ceiling is finally up.  Before:

Somewhere at the start: 

Finished:

Eventually she'll be painted to match my other original ceilings, but I was pretty impressed with how it turned out.  It was an expensive upgrade and I had to save my pennies for a year in order to afford it, but it was well worth the money to match up with what I already had!


Any project Jared and I work on follows the same basic routine and the tin ceiling was no exception.  The job starts innocently enough, but eventually, I become rather abusive about Jared's inability to measure anything correctly the first go round.  Sometimes we even have to start completely over.  At some point I spend time feeling angry and worried about the money that I've spent to fix something Jared can't get right.  Then when I sink into a passive aggressive and grouchy despair, Jared usually drops the F bomb, feels horrible immediately and begins to apologize profusely.  My poor patient husband never complains, corrects, or seems fazed by my ridiculous nitpicking behavior and when I have pushed him to his penitent stage, I remember what a horrible shrew I am and half heartedly try to be less grouchy and bossy.  When we both calm down, Jared is finally able to get his measurements right, the job proceeds, and then I suddenly become ecstatic when the job looks as beautiful as I had hoped it would...  I know...  Jared should dump me because I'm pathetic...


Even though we sometimes disagree about how to proceed with a job, one thing we have been completely united about for the last 2 years has been our disgust over the horrible workmanship/disrepair our home was subjected to by the previous owners.  That's right people!  It's my favorite scapegoat...  MARIA!  What's the latest crime you might wonder?  Well, this...

I forgot to take a true "before" picture but you can at least maybe get an idea of what I was dealing with.  As we were putting up the tin in the dining room, I noticed that the ceiling outside of my bedroom was also tin and had a funny little hole in the corner.  I figured since I was already in the mess, I may as well try to see if it needed any modifications.  I knew the hole had to be left over from the conversion of radiator heat to my current baseboard heaters.  Knowing Maria's M.O. I theorized that the hole was probably just plastered over, rather than repaired with the proper tin materials.  As I poked around, I found out that not only was the hole from the old radiator pipe fixed with a piece of cardboard and then plastered over, but the original wooden crown molding was so damaged, they had used foam spray to cobble it together.  When I removed the "repair," I could see directly up into my attic and all the way to the roof.  Fantastic.  I tried to find a shop that could replicate the damaged pieces, but it was going to be several hundred dollars for about 12 inches of custom milled wood.  Although I like to preserve as much of the original furnishings in my home projects as possible, sometimes several hundred dollars could be better spent on other battles.  So, after conferring with my mom (who couldn't figure it out because she wasn't with me), I eventually just ripped all the old crown molding out, fixed the gaping hole with sheetrock, then pounded up a new tin ceiling and crown molding.  Check it out!

Amazing what a thorough job - instead of a half baked, idiotic job - can do!  By the time we finished outside the bedroom door, we were pretty fast at this tin ceiling installation thing and now we nearly have the front entry way done too:

We have to order a few more pieces of crown molding and flat trim because of the extra job outside my room that I didn't count on...  And because Jared can't measure worth a darn...  But all told, I decided not to hassle him too much since it all looks so darn good!  Plus, I'm worried he might actually figure out what a fat jerk I am and dump me, so I'm trying to be on my best behavior for a few weeks.  Actually, now that I think about it, we're hoping to get the wainscoting supplies sometime next week.  If he decides to come to his senses and dumps me, I'm going to remind him he gets the kids in the divorce...  I'm keeping the house though.  I've nagged him to the bone for it...

It's One AM. Do you Know Where Your Kids Are?

I've had a busy day on call today!  I've already done 3 deliveries and I'm waiting on a 4th to get a move on with her cervix dilating so she can evict her baby out of her vagina.  I'm an insomniac even when I'm home in my own bed, but when I'm on call, I am either up with laboring ladies, or I'm worried that a laboring lady will call me, so I just can't sleep.  Lucky for me, I have good friends that feel safe texting me at hours that anyone else would consider rude.  This means that I have constant entertainment - even as I lay blinking into the night.  What did I get today at 1 AM Eastern time?  Well, from one friend who likes to type the F bomb a lot to show me how tough he is, I got this:

I actually felt a little sad.  Not for me of course, but for Jared.  If you actually read my blog, you would know I have discussed King Kong Bundy in a previous post and you would therefore know about Jared's love of all things professional wrestling.  Anytime a particularly interesting character bites the dust, I mourn just a little for him and his stupid embarrassing habits.  I of course immediately texted him the same link, but because it's one AM Eastern time, he was asleep and did not respond...


My potty mouth friend eventually stopped texting because it's 10 PM in California and since he's a whimp, he probably fell asleep.  Lucky for me, my friend Kareena started texting me about the booger she had just picked, complete with nose hair.  She hinted that she may have taken photographic proof and by George did she deliver!

I especially appreciate the penny she included as a size reference.  How thoughtful!  For a split second, I was almost worried that perhaps Kareena was more disgusting than I was.  I mean, this felt epic to me and I didn't want to find myself in a situation where I had to PROVE to anyone how gross I can be.  However, I remembered that I had enthusiastically encouraged her to send the pic, so at minimum, we are equals.  Take that Kareena!


Yep, 1 AM during your 24 hour call shift isn't so bad when you've got friends to help you through it.  Now if only they would leave me alone so I could get some sleep!




     

I Don't Get It

I have started to become painfully aware that I have transformed into one of the old people that used to bug the hell out of me when I was younger.  These "old" people were basically anyone my parent's age or older that didn't seem to understand anything important.  Like how to use computers, or how to send an email, or how to use a CD player.  You know...  technology.  Now I'm 44 and the only social media I use is Snapchat and occasionally Marco Polo.  Hannah tried to explain "hashtags" to me a while ago and I just could not get my head around it.  I walked around for a few days saying "poundsign BFFs?"  I don't get it.  Hannah would roll her eyes and tell me it wasn't a pound sign that it was a hashtag.  I believe I argued for a while that it most certainly WAS a poundsign but I eventually gave up because she thought I was an old idiot, and I just kept making a fool out of myself over this new fangled hashtag thing.

For my 40th birthday we went to Disneyland and it was the first time I had ever heard of a digital ticket.  I opted for the digital ticket instead of having our passes mailed because first and foremost, I am cheap to the bone and the digital option was free.  I showed them to Dr. Hymas, one of the pediatricians I used to work with, and made him describe how this was going to work.  When he told me I just needed to pull them up on my phone when we got to Disney and scan them to get into the park, I absolutely told him he was lying.  He assured me he used digital tickets all the time, even when flying and it was the best and coolest thing ever.  Since it was Dr. Hymas telling me the process and NOT Hannah, I gave it a try and by golly it worked!  I have since used digital tickets for all sorts of things like flights, hockey games, and even plays and I still can't figure out how the damn thing works!  I even have started putting my digital tickets into something called the IPhone Wallet and just like my real wallet, it keeps important things all together until I need them, without 20 pieces of stupid paper flapping around and getting lost.  WEIRD!

I had my mind blown again over technology just today.  You see, a few days ago, my brother was trolling around for money to pay back my dad for doing our taxes every year.  He told me that I could pay my share to him with ApplePay if I wanted.  He actually told me the same thing last year but since I'm cheap and old and didn't want to pay the service fee (which I assumed there would be) I mailed a check.  He insinuated that I was old and lame last year when he got my check, so I decided that this year, I was not going to repeat the hashtag incident and would try to figure out ApplePay.  I almost turned back when I saw the 6 dollar service fee, but decided that the convenience, along with not sending a paper check that might foul our earth, plus proving I am NOT old and lame was worth it.  Here's proof I did it:

Turns out you send your money through a text message.  A TEXT MESSAGE!  What the hell is going on with this world?  How does this work?  Is every computer on this planet communicating?  Do the computers know that I am old, inept, and slightly scared by all this digital technology?  And how is my brother going to get the money I sent with ApplePay?  Will it just go on the credit card he chose?  Did he choose a debit card so it will go into his bank account?  Does he have to pay a fee to use that money I just sent him?  I guess I really am old and out of touch.  I don't know how much more technology I can handle.  What is it you young whippersnappers say these days?  Poundsign old lady?...