Hiatus

It's been nearly a month since my last post and in case anyone is tempted to accuse me of not having any adventures, the reality is that I've had so many adventures, I haven't had time to blog about them.  As proof, I could brag about all the beaches I've shown Jared and the girls since they arrived:

But maybe there's other folks out there like my Hannah who says she hates Rhode Island, the ocean, and the fact that you often have to ask for mayo on your sandwich at local shops out here instead of assuming they will automatically make your sammy with mayo.  If you're like Hannah, maybe all my beach combing won't impress you.

I could brag about how close we live to a Six Flags and that we've gone twice in the last three weeks. I possibly might add that we got rained out of Six Flags today while we stood and watched an impressive New England rainstorm which are an adventure even when they DON'T happen at Six Flags:

But, if you're like Hannah and you've already sat in the car twice during outings where a summer rain was in progress, then complained about how much water Rhode Island gets, well then maybe that doesn't seem like much of an adventure to you either.

I could discuss how I helped Hannah write a resume since my last blog post.  But since I turned my good deed into something creepy and wrong that Hannah didn't even notice...

well, maybe that's no big deal to anyone either.

Perhaps someone would like to hear about the conference I went to in Philadelphia last week.  In my downtime I saw the liberty bell...

The rocky statue...

And a dead saint whose remains hang out in this shrine at a local church...

I told Jared I wanted him to investigate whether it was a real dead saint or just a mannequin.  I thought people deserved to know if the Catholic Church was covering up some big plastic mannequin scandal and I demanded he get busy figuring it out.  As usual, my lover cares about almost nothing and wouldn't help with my expose.  The day we went to see saint Neumann was so hot and muggy that I hung out in the shrine just for the AC for about 30 minutes.  I would have stayed longer but mass was about to start and religion on my day off isn't worth the comfort of AC.  Turns out Google was more helpful than Jared cause after I escaped mass, I discovered that father Neumann has a wax mask that covers his face.  That explains why he looked like a mannequin, and though I no longer had to worry about a Catholic cover up, I was still disappointed I didn't get to see him in the state I'm sure God intended.  I thought about badgering Jared into helping me start a "Natural Neumann" movement, but I could immediately discern that was an adventure I'd have to take on myself and since I'm lazy, nothing will ever come of it...  sorry adoring fans.

What else did I do during my blogging hiatus?  Well, I've started making repairs to my walls, began stripping paint off my banisters, dug up more rogue plants from the jungle the previous owner left me in my yard, and spent time taking  pics of Jared and me naked in bed without showing that we were naked in bed, even though I've forgotten what I originally planned to do with such photos:

I've also still been battling the rash I started during the doomed exodus to the east that I discussed in my last post.  See people?  I wasn't gone from your lives for no good reason.  I've been really busy.  I hope this teaches you a thing or two about respecting my time off...