Kids Suck - The Sequel

Today we took the kids to a movie.  It was Cinderella since I very rarely pay to see a new movie anymore.  With five kids, I nearly have to take out a loan to go if we get popcorn along with our flick.  Rexburg actually has a decent discount movie house with cheap concessions.  Since this appeals to my inner tightwad, we went after I visited with my postpartum patient at the hospital.

My two teenagers, as usual, sat on a different row than me because I apparently have cooties.  My babies decided this was their chance for independence and convinced me to let them sit on the front row alone.  What a mistake that idiotic decision became!  Those damn babies ran around, yelled at each other, started playing catch in front of the screen, and eventually spilled their soda all over their clothes.  I tried several times throughout the Johanson Traveling Circus to reign in my spawn, but I eventually gave up.  There were only three other couples in the theater, so I finally convinced myself that this was a chance to show the potentially fertile idiots sitting nearby what happens when the condom breaks.  I felt guilty for like two minutes until I reminded myself it was dark and they wouldn't really know who those kids belonged to!

When the flick was finally over and we headed for home, I took my turn sitting in the back since the stupid 16 year old thinks she always has to drive now.  As I sat wondering if someone spilled liquid farts into my upholstery back there since it always reeks, I finally realized why my younger kids were so despicable today:

And this...

Bubba actually fell asleep on the seat belt!  Even though I had wanted to kill them fifteen minutes earlier, I did this to help Bub's head stop slipping off her pillow...

Oh well, kids can't help being jerks I guess.  At the end of the day I still love my little gremlins and realized I have bigger fish to fry than murdering them for their actions today - I gotta find that missing jar of liquid farts!!