Bears Boobies and Other Good News

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of having a special visitor arrive at the frat house...

For a split second I thought, "Hey!  That's the bear suit!  Alyssa is in Rhode Island!"  A split second later, I found out it was her friend and they had planned a joke that was supposed to happen for my birthday.  I didn't even care that she was a week late, because the joy I felt at seeing that funny suit was gift enough.  Since Alyssa is from Rhode Island, she still has some friends here and actually mailed the suit to her buddy and had the friend drive to my house and surprise me with some cookies.  This was particularly special because Rhode Islanders don't like to drive outside of their town, so the fact that Alyssa's accomplice drove about 21 miles to pull this joke is somewhat of a miracle.  If you don't believe me that Rhode Islanders feel this way about driving for more than five minutes - Google it.  They  are ridiculous about what they consider "road trips" and it is one of the things I find most hilarious and charming about them.  Here's my obligatory selfie with the bear suit:

I got to thinking about all the times and places Alyssa and I have used the bear suit both together and apart.  I have scared people in outhouses with it.  Alyssa has scared people in the woods and mountains of Wyoming/Idaho with it.  We have even used it just to make other people laugh as evidenced by my discussion above.  I also remembered that the night before I left Idaho, nearly one year ago, Alyssa and I used the bear suit too.  Here's our before and after shots...

I of course posted about some stuff I did with it on my trip out.  I even met Alyssa in it when I picked her up after her last trip to Rhode Island at the train station:

We also went to the beach and took some photos there:

I'm beating a dead horse, but I love that bear suit.  It represents the friendship I have with Alyssa and I appreciate being reminded of her.  I don't think I ever would have struck up a friendship with her had we not had so many responsibilities together at church.  It just goes to show that you never know how your life can be impacted by the people around you and I'm glad I've had a chance to get to know her.

I thought the bear suit was going to be the highlight of my week but I was lucky enough to have a second blessing this week.  My mammogram.  I had so much fun 2 years ago with my last mammo, that I honestly expected to be unimpressed.  I shouldn't have doubted my ability to have a good time, because as usual, I took something completely mundane and boring to most people and turned it into something creepy and unusual, thereby creating hours of fun for myself. 

It started when I surprised the mammogram tech by bringing my own wipes to clean my armpits with and my own deodorant to use after the mammogram was completed.  I told her I was prepared because I was so surprised two years ago when they made me wash my pits.  She insisted it was totally fine if I wanted to use her wipes and deodorant but I reassured her that I was happy as a clam to use my own.  She stared for a few minutes and then told me to put on my "Johnny" facing front and to open the door when I was ready for her to come get me.  I giggled because I think it's hilarious that Rhode Islanders call hospital tops/gowns "Johnnies."  I love it at the hospital when the nurses say it to the patients.  I always want to yell, "It's a gown!  Not a Johnny!"  But I've learned it does no good to argue with these people so I just smile like a stupid fool when I hear it and say in my mind, "It's a gown!"  Before I opened the door, I decided to snap a pic to remind my sisters to get their mammos done because of Jeta's recent breast cancer diagnosis.  They were not impressed:

After I snapped my pic of my "Johnny" the tech came and set me up for my mammogram.  She fondled and positioned and squished the bejeebers out of my boobs and I realized with no small amount of chagrin, that I had forgotten to grab my phone.  Therefore I missed the following three opportunities:

1. I didn't get to take the selfie I wanted with the mammogram tech
2. I didn't get to take a video of her fondling my saggy old boobies for my own creepy purposes
3. I didn't get to take a pic of my falsely luscious boobs and nipples once the picture had been taken (See my previous mammogram post)

I tried to hide my disappointment about my phone oversight by taking a compromising picture for Jared once I was done with the mammogram and about to change into my clothes.  Please be advised the emojis were not in place for his pic.  He's my lover and deserves the full show:

What I didn't realize, was that Bubba was playing with his phone at the time I decided to send my pic.  When she received the glorious image, she said to Jared, "WHAT THE HECK?!"  I know I should feel embarrassed or guilty about her seeing my boobs, but I don't.  Serves her right for snooping around and using a phone she doesn't pay for.  I hope she learns her lesson.

As if the bear suit, my mammo, and my boob pic snafu wasn't enough joy, I found out when I got back to the frat house that we passed inspection on the latest offer on our house.  It looks like the deal is probably going to go through as planned and my family should finally be able to make their own exodus to the east soon.  I am as contented as I could possibly be, even if I still feel a little negative and wary about the deal falling through.  My mom thinks I need to be more optimistic about the whole thing so in honor of the woman who doesn't worry about anything, here's proof I'm trying:

And that folks - is as good as it gets.