It's the Home Stretch Bubba

Yesterday, Bubba called to let me know something really wonderful had happened.  Turned out it was this:

For a split second I almost cried.  She's my last baby and I wasn't home for her first tooth dropping out of her beak!  Actually, another kindergartener yanked it out for her, which I thought was freaking awesome, but you get my drift...  I stuffed down my moment of panic and then remembered that I should have that kid back in my home in time to knock the next one out myself.  I asked if she had properly prepared her tooth for the Tooth Fairy to arrive, but since she has several sisters who have lost teeth to show her how it's done, I was assured that was the first thing she had accomplished once school had let out.

I know most people leave their tooth under their pillow and get a lame amount of money for their efforts.  My family, for at least two generations, has used a different kind of fairy.  Our fairy requires the tooth to be left in a glass of water on the nearest windowsill.  The next morning, the water and the tooth are gone, and in their place, the fairy leaves candy.  I have no idea where our Tooth Fairy was recruited from, but the awe of discovering candy in place of water and a tooth has fascinated everyone in my family for as long as I can remember.  It's pretty cool.  Early this morning, Bubba texted me a pic of her first tooth loss booty...

She was thrilled, and I suspect the candy was gone before breakfast time.  She sent me the text at 9 am my time, but I didn't get it until after 11.  Judge all you want, but I had the morning off and I made good use of it.  Once I rolled my bones out of bed, I found the frat house owner sick on the couch.  She had made it to work but had to come home soon after for a belly ache and some puking.  She didn't get much better through the day and by this evening, I made a run for this:

I wanted to do whatever I could to help her because I don't want her getting me sick!  I've listened to her pooping and puking several times tonight and felt panic for my own welfare.  Renee only has one bathroom and it's downstairs but I live upstairs.  I began to think about just what it would be like if I started to struggle with what Renee has.  Ten bucks says I'd be lying in my bed, feel the urge to spew or poop, would try to run downstairs to hit the john, and I'd slip and fall.  It's not the falling that scares me, it's the fear that I would then either puke and/or poop and then I'd lie on the stairs injured and covered in my own filth.  I can guarantee that Renee would not fall for the same trick I pulled on my sister Jeta years ago and I would end up having to clean up my own mess - which is awful when you are ill.  I said a quick prayer to heaven that my self-serving Christian act would be enough to allow the shadow of death to pass over me.  We shall see...

What else happened today on this, Bubba's first Tooth Fairy day?  Well, this:

Yep.  You're looking at my normal mammogram report.  I wasn't worried about it to begin with, but sent the selfie to my sisters just the same.  My jerk sister Briana snidely mentioned she was surprised my shirt was on for the picture.  I was instantly ashamed of myself and promised Briana that in two years I would take a selfie with my clean bill of health... shirtless...  She then complained by text, but my response was, and I quote, "You brought this on yourself really.  Never tempt the devil I say."  I'm glowing just thinking about how happy I will be to send that picture and how uncomfortable everyone else will be to get it.  You know, it's the small things in life that really mean the most.