Happy Birthday Bubba

Today my sweet little Bubba had a birthday.  Every year, I send a selfie celebrating the anniversary of Bub's birth to the two friends and the two nurse midwives that were there with me that night.  This year, I missed the birthday on account of Bub lives in Idaho and I live in Rhode Island, so my selfie ended up looking like this:

Every year someone comments on how time flies and I take a moment to contemplate Bub's entrance into this world.  Bub's birth was nice because it was the only delivery I had after I became a Certified Nurse Midwife.  I've delivered about a thousand babies in my career so far, and yet when I had Bub, I got to turn myself over to my two great partners at the time and just be the patient.  

Because I had a very nice working as well as a personal relationship with my nurse midwives, I naturally wanted my vagina to look wonderful for my birth.  And by look wonderful, I mean I wanted to do something really extravagant so they would always remember Bub's special day.  Since genital shaving is so common these days, and because I have a moral objection to it, I knew I needed something unique.  For months I pondered what sort of surprise I could give Helene and Karen, and finally decided that coloring my pubic hair neon pink would do the trick.  I consulted my hairdresser, Erica, who happens to be a natural perv; always happy to help with anything ridiculous.  Erica warned me that pubes are different and she didn't think they would take the dye correctly.  However, never one to stand in the way of a good prank, she gave me a bleaching agent, and then some neon pink dye to put in its place.

A few weeks before Labor Day, I applied the bleaching agent, then sat naked on the floor of my shower reading a book while the bleach did its work.  My older kids and Jared both noticed me there, asked what I was doing, and then wandered away, unfazed by my response.  When your mom/wife is a lunatic, nothing seems unusual I guess.  After the bleach came the neon dye, and just as Erica predicted, the short curlies wouldn't take it.  I ended up having slightly reddish pubes that were nearly undetectable from my previous carpet color.

I considered shaving or drawing something hilarious on my lady bits, but by this time, my attention span was exhausted, so I just waited for labor to start and delivered Bub like I delivered all her sisters:  rapidly, and with approximately one push.

Yep, it's nice to ponder nice memories every year.  I'm grateful for each of my babies and for the joy and anguish they bring to me.  I'm grateful for great nurse midwives that have given me some wonderful births to remember, and even for a really nice doctor who treated me well until I saw the light and switched to said midwives!  Most of all, I'm grateful that my selfies with Bub are fun and cute.  I wonder how long it will take before she starts to look more like another one of my children I birthed in June - my happy child, Hannah.  She's pissed at Kayley and me here.  She had a GREAT face on when I asked her to smile at me but I didn't screenshot it fast enough...

Happy Burthday, Bub!  You have some big shoes to fill...