Thanks Pubic Hair...

This post is dedicated to my niece, Kate, the title being something she actually texted to me, her sweet aunt, after I called her a buttmunch for her birthday.  Katie is a few months younger than my eldest baby and also happens to share a birthday with my fourth daughter, Lily.  Obviously I have to love Kate since she's related to me, but I found that I really began to appreciate her as an individual, and began to love her despite our bloodlines, starting about when she was in junior high.  Why the admiration?  Check it...

This kid is so eccentric it's thrilling.  I secretly wonder how my sister has transformed her spawn into something so magical, but I get the impression she had nothing to do with it;  they are naturally weird.  Kate and I have had all sorts of interesting conversations over the years.  She has sung me funny camp songs over the phone, has told me stories about her underwear that have kept me in stitches for weeks, and her natural tendency towards tomboyishness is something I can support whole heartedly. 

The other great thing about Katie is that she cares about people.  She knew I was feeling really sad this week so she sent me lots of thoughtful texts that said, "I love you" and other similar crap.  She also called me Rachie, which melted my heart because I don't think she really thinks of me as her aunt, but more like an equal, and I love that.  Kate also likes to send me pictures.  Like this one of a guy she caught sleeping in church:

I told her she was going to burn in hell for taking pictures in church, but after thinking about it awhile, she upped it to a whole new level by sending me this a few days later:

Now she calls him "Flash" and I know exactly what she is talking about and it makes me smile whenever she mentions him.  Kate is also planning on visiting me in Rhode Island whenever I can get my family moved out.  We talk about it a lot and I think both of us are pretty excited to spend some time on the beach.  I'm sure Kate will admire my sexy beach body and think about how lame her own mother looks in a swimsuit, and I will worry about her white flesh blistering under the hot sun because man is Kate a white girl!  Speaking of beaches, Katie lives in northern Idaho near some really beautiful lakes and rivers.  They go to the beach on the lake quite frequently up there so she sent me this tonight:

I assured her that water and sand bring out freaks no matter where you are, so I'm hoping she'll still want to come hang out with me in Rhode Island despite the killer view she obviously has on her lake.  It's really amazing how great teenagers are.  I complain about mine all the time, but in reality, it's a wonderful age.  You have these babies on the cusp of being grown ups, trying to figure out their bodies, the world, their opinions about major social issues, and it's absolutely fantastic watching them get their feet underneath them as they prepare to march out into their future.  It's humbling and truly lovely.  What will Kate end up accomplishing?  I have no idea.  But I suspect given her oddity it will be something really marvelous.  I love you filthy animal...