At Last

Five months ago today and nearly at exactly the same time as I sit blogging, I arrived at my apartment in East Providence, RI.  I took a selfie to commemorate the day:

Know what else is significant about today?  I'm finally under contract on a house in Rhode Island!  I didn't get the original dream house I wanted, but my second choice is lovely and puts me in a nice area of Pawtucket.  Rhodies often say, "Pawtucket the bucket!"  

As I sit here contemplating the last five months, I will readily admit I was not prepared for how difficult and lonely this transition would be, but am grateful to be closer to living with my lover and babies again.  Which reminds me, there are a few things I should probably change about my behavior before they arrive:

1.  Flush the toilet more often:

I'm a hippy at heart and global warning scares the crap outta me.  I figured since I live alone, I could help Mother Earth by following the adage, "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down."  And yes, this means exactly what you think it means.  Judge all you want, but I'm sure Mother Earth has appreciated my efforts these last five months, even if no one else does.

2.  Lay off the stinky cheese:

Given that I have only myself to impress, I've been able to buy and eat whatever I want and no rotten kids have been around to complain about it.  Along with lobsters every payday, I have gorged myself on the nastiest cheese I can find because I love the stuff!  I've known for months that my fridge always smells like a butthole now, but if I've got kids opening my fridge every two seconds like they do in Idaho, the butthole stench will spread through my whole house.  Plus, yummy, stinky cheese is pricy, so I'm going to have to cut back.

3.  Stop eating in front of the boob tube:

Through our entire married life, Jared and I have protected meal times.  We don't answer the phone, we don't watch TV... Family time is important to us.  Since no one's around to have family time with, I often eat in front of my computer or the TV.  It's a horrible habit and I'll be glad to give this one up.

4.  No more Joe:

I think probably the only thing I'm going to miss about my independent life is spying on Joe the landlord every chance I get.  I like that guy and his weird habits and I'm going to miss him.  I've considered coming back to visit after settling in the "bucket," but that would just be creepy...  Sorry Joe, this is goodbye.  My family is on their way!