Where are You Sarah Richards?

My father has this ridiculous idea that the reason the job in Rhode Island seemed right to me, is that we have ancestors in our family line that we cannot locate.  This thought is supported by at least two other lunatics, one of whom is my brother Sam.  He is on board because he has caught the genealogy bug and has been trying to trace a few souls for over a year now.  Turns out my father's line hailed from New England many generations ago.  When they traveled west with the Mormon pioneers, I guess all the posterity but me decided to stay.  Whatever the reason for my move East, I have been sucked into my brother's nefarious plans to locate with certainty what has happened to our ancestors.  I traveled to Camden, Maine for some investigating rather early after my move to Rhode Island, and that trip yielded more questions than answers.  As such, I agreed to head back yesterday for some graveyard reconnaissance.

The first problem I encountered when I arrived was my bladder.  I had to pee so badly and there were no public restrooms anywhere close to the cemetery.  What was a girl to do?  Well, this girl found some bushes, crawled in deep, said a prayer I wouldn't pee on my pants or shoes or get caught by anyone, then I shared my shame with everyone on Snapchat.  See:

 

I felt slightly ashamed for being willing to drop my knickers so fast, but was appreciative of the relief.  Note to self:  bring TP and a TP disposal device for future reconnaissance because waiting for my labia to dry after urinating really wigs me out....

My second problem arose immediately after I drained my bladder because the map for the cemetery on the city of Camden's website is from the 1940s and did not really match the present day cemetery.  I have zero sense of direction and when you add in a bad map, I am absolutely useless.  My solution was to call my idiot brother who sent me on the body quest in the first place.  I would stand in front of a headstone, give him name and date of death, he would search for the plot number on the website, then try to navigate me with the bad map.  I spent 3 hours in the burying yard trying to triangulate my location in this manner.  Did I find any family bodies?  You bet I did:

But...  Not the main one I wanted:  Sarah Richards.  Round two lost apparently.  This woman continues to be an enigma for my brother and I guess now for me since I've been sucked into his nonsense.  I suppose the disappointment over not finding Sarah was my last problem of the day.  Having nothing more to do, I headed home to Rhode Island and even though I was lucky to find an extra cemetery to search on my way, I still wasn't lucky enough to find my missing body.  Despite my multiple problems, I did have a victory in New Hampshire:

This is where I got to use indoor plumbing again and properly wipe my feminine regions and wash my hands.  A thing of beauty I must say.  I may or may not have also purchased some Smoked Gouda and Chives chips at that stop which I nearly finished on my own prior to arriving back in Rhode Island.  I'll let you draw your own conclusions just for fun.

Where are you Sarah Richards?  You were supposed to be in Camden, Maine but I was just there so maybe we missed each other.  Don't worry.  I haven't given up and neither has my brother because he wondered if I was close to another place that may hold some clues about you and your husband:  Westerly, Rhode Island.  Stupid non Rhodies.  They just don't understand that you can drive to ANYWHERE in Rhode Island from ANYWHERE else in Rhode Island in no more than 40 minutes as long as traffic is good.  I only teased him a little and then assured him I'd love to travel to Westerly.  I've already checked out Misquamicut State Beach there and find it quite lovely.  Maybe if I can find a clue about Sarah I would deserve some Del's lemonade afterward...  Hang on Sarah, here I come...