I believe that beekeeping should be required of all midwives. It's not that many of my kind don't already do plenty of crunchy things, it's just that beekeeping to me is the epitome of granola. There are all sorts of beekeepers out there with all sorts of opinions about how to manage bees. However, I try to consider what the stinkiest, hairiest, Mary Jane smoking nut job would think, and try to make my conduct with the bees seem in harmony with that. For instance, I don't use any medications in my hive. I gave up all pesticides in my yard and don't like using herbicides either. I should post a pic of the dandelion garden in my backyard which developed due to my opinions, but I'm too embarrassed about it - even if dandelions are WONDERFUL food for bees. I know that the hippy I just described wouldn't give a Bob Dylan poop about what other people think - but I am a granola muncher in progress... I have been using natural methods to control some of the pests that plague bees these days but I believe my hippy ways may have contributed to a calamity this winter - I lost my entire colony. They up and died right in the winter cluster. I felt betrayed and sad about the disgusting mass murder. My dad keeps bees too and when I saw his lovely ladies flying this spring, I wanted to kick over his hives so he could feel my pain. Unfortunately, it gave me joy to see someone with the delightful insects flying around so I didn't. And that is the ONLY reason I didn't because I have balls of steel and thousands of angry, stinging bees upset about their kicked in home would totally not scare me.
Given that I am really into this apiculture thing and need it for my eccentric image, I naturally ordered a new colony. They arrived Thursday and I was thrilled to drive them around in my car from the pickup location. I listened intently to their buzzing and wondered if they were enjoying the roomy ride I was taking them on. Surely being crammed in with a bunch of other ladies couldn't be nearly as great as the trip in my Honda. Besides, I was singing my guts out to some classic rock and I'm pretty sure they appreciated that. Here they are waiting to go into the hive.
Awww, look at them. Yes, I'm pretending to kiss them. I would never do it for real because I am not a dumbass. You know those idiots that walk around wearing bee beards and bees all over their bodies? They are idiots and I don't care who knows it. I am a totally legit beekeeper, but I totally legitimately don't like being stung! Call me all the names you like, but God created some wise apple who created bee equipment for a reason. Anyone who doesn't use it, deserves to die a painful death from anaphylaxis! I had quite an audience this year during hiving since several neighbors were curious about the process. Here's the last of the ladies hanging out in the cage after being hived - it was empty several hours later since these chicks are smart and know how to find their way into their new home...
And here's me. Happy to finally have some buzzing activity behind my garage again!
I don't know why I'm hanging onto my hive tool like a complete moron, but imagine it's me enjoying an ice cream cone or something great! The day couldn't have gotten much better because then I went over and helped a neighbor get her first colony settled.
Yep, apiculture is pretty great. I'm already feeling like a Class A granola muncher now that the gals are flying again!
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