Pinhead

My husband acts like a freak during Halloween season because he loves hats and masks.  When Zurchers moved to town a couple of years ago, he had an excuse to act like an idiot 365 days a year.  Given that Hannah wants a real costume this year instead of concocting one from my Halloween box, and knowing I would never pay full price for such a ridiculous luxury, she dragged me to Zurchers so she could spend her babysitting cash.  This was yet another opportunity for Jared to perform his costume freak show.

In the thirty minutes we were there, he pestered me with a clown mask, a pirate wig, a masquerade mask, and this beauty to name a few:  

Because Jared is Swedish, EVERY time he sees a Viking hat he throws one on.  Since I find him strangely attractive in them, I asked for a selfie:

If you recall my anniversary post, I mentioned how his face never changes in pictures.  I forgot about what happens in costume stores.  It's like he's a totally different person and its darn weird!  As if Jared's shenanigans weren't annoying enough, Lily offered this to me...

I freaked!  Especially when I saw the price tag.  I lectured her about how I am a beekeeper and wouldn't need to spend 32 bucks on a stupid imitation costume!  Only then did I hear Jared giggle from a different aisle.

The most intriguing thing about Jared's obsession with hats and masks is that he's a pinhead.  I'm not kidding.  He has to special order his ball caps because his head is so small, the adjustable kind look stupid cranked down on his tiny cabbage.  However, his handicap has never held him back, because he likes squeezing into oddball get ups that most adults can't fit into.  If you doubt me, check out Bubba:

Now me for reference...

And my lover, in the same hat:

You'd never know that was a baby hat with him wandering around.  Jared's brother Zane had seizures for many years and the neurologist told his mom his brain was too big for his skull.  Jared's response was of course related to how tiny his own skull is and yet he's seizure free...

Thankfully, Hannah finally made her choice so we could get the heck outta there and get Jared back to adult mentality.  I had to admit she looks pretty classy and it almost made me want to spend money on a real costume myself.  Check it out:

I wish I could say the freak show is over for the year.  Unfortunately, I was in Zurchers two days ago, and I can guarantee I'll be back before the month is out to watch Jared act like a moron all over again.  At least tonight wasn't a total loss because apparently, the King lives...