Super Saturday

After nearly succumbing to influenza earlier in the week, I found that by Saturday I was bored and needed more spice in my life.  My brush with death put everything into perspective and I suddenly found that a waffle cone from Reeds Dairy was the only thing that would do.  Actually, the ice cream was my reward for being respectful during a lame family piano recital we held.  I tend to be a little melodramatic if you hadn't noticed.  Anyway, I clambered into our giant Chevy pickup with the hubby and Hannah while the rest of my spawn rode with my folks. I'm minding my own business on Broadway when the car in front of me changed her mind on proceeding through the intersection on a yellow light.  Given that my truck is sort of like driving a small Redwood tree, I had no prayer in stopping my forward inertia and SMACK!  I rear ended the unfortunate young lady who hesitated to commit.  To the occupants inside my giant vehicle, it felt like a bumper car, but to my would be murder victim- well she seemed a little dazed.  I hopped out of the truck and walked up to her window.  

Me:  Are you ok?

Victim:  I think so

Me:  Did I scare the shit outta you?

Victim:  (slowly staring) Yes?

Me:  Ok, I'm calling the cops now

Here let me pause and apologize for the way I am.  I have no idea how I have sunk so far in dignity and respect.  I'd like to blame my mother for my shortcomings, but anyone who meets her would know she's not to blame.  However, in my first post I made it clear I worry so very little about how I'm perceived, so this one paragraph is the only attempt this month I will make at good behavior...

A city cop arrived and did his thing.  He even apologized for burping in my face due to the awesome Mexican food he supposedly had at Puerto Vallarta for lunch.  I wanted to have a heartfelt discussion about what I thought awesome Mexican food was, but the fact that he admitted he burped cleared his poor food opinions in one fell swoop.  We waited for 15 minutes while he checked to see what other sins I had committed and the boredom just got to me.  As I stood there, I wondered if my victim would take a pic with me.  Here is a life lesson I've learned...  People will almost always do what you want if you ask nicely as long as it isn't illegal.  Furthermore, you'll never know if they will do your bidding unless you ask.  Soooooo......

Me:  Hey, can I take a picture of my crime?

Victim:  Sure?

The pic doesn't do it justice but I got the bumper pretty good.  See how Christian I am?  I blurred out her plate!

Me:  Hey, can I take a pic with you?!

Victim:  Sure?

My dad, who thinks most of the things I do are weird, asked if I was going to invite her to our next family photos.  I didn't care though because she's cute!  Poor girl was trying to decide where to eat.  I told her now she had more time to decide and she sort of giggled.  I felt a little sorry that she was so indecisive about her driving and her lunch options because I have so few moments of doubt or hesitation in anything I do.  It's probably why I'm sort of a bully.  I just wanted the wreck fiasco to be over because I knew exactly where I was going next:

No Gorilla Munch, but the Rocky Road was in fine form as usual.  The day was sunny and breezy, but lovely nonetheless.  It was perfect, and I was happy to be alive!  I rounded out my evening with my first motorcycle ride of the season.  My battery was dead so I had to ride bitch behind this guy.

I rode his 1500 cc bike around the block once and he offered to sit bitch, but I don't like sitting on so much power with a large man breathing down my neck.  Instead, I sat where good women belong and I even made dinner afterward!  Here's hoping your Saturday was as good as mine!